What Forgiveness Looks Like…
“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” (Luke 23:34)
Jesus embodied the epitome of forgiveness when He uttered those words as He was crucified and hung on the Cross.
“That man [who allegedly assassinated Charlie Kirk], that young man, I forgive him. I forgive him, because it was what Christ did, and is what Charlie would do. The answer to hate is not hate. The answer we know from the gospel is love, and always love. Love for our enemies and love for those who persecute us.” (Erika Kirk at Charlie Kirk’s memorial service – Sunday September 21, 2025)
In her eulogy, Erika Kirk valiantly and beautifully exemplified true Christ-like forgiveness at her husband’s memorial service when she publicly forgave his alleged assassin. What a courageous example to the world of what being a follower of Christ truly means. May God bless her family, heal their hearts, and restore their souls.
Forgiveness is not just one element of Christianity. Forgiveness is the very essence of Christianity. Jesus died for us to forgive our sins. We are to be bearers and sharers of Christ’s forgiveness, extending it generously to all. Part of the Lord’s Prayer is to “forgive us our trespasses as [or ‘to the degree’ or ‘to the extent that’] we forgive those who trespass against us.” So, if we are to receive forgiveness, we must also extend it as well.
Erika truly made a “no-regrets” choice to forgive. One of my personal key tenets of Living a Life of No Regrets is to “Forgive Others Repeatedly.” By all counts, Erika and Charlie lived it. They walked the talk. Forgiveness now sets her free – to heal and to go on living life – in the wake of her husband’s gruesome murder.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free – and discover that the prisoner – was you.” (Lewis B. Smedes)
Choosing not to forgive someone is like being buried alive. Unforgiveness binds us in the chains of regrets. It padlocks us in the prison of our past. It grants the perpetrator continual control over our lives. Forgiveness breaks all of that. It changes everything.
Forgiveness in action changed the heart of an actor named Tim Allen – trapped in unforgiveness for over 6 decades. His father died in 1964 from a collision with a drunk driver’s vehicle when Tim was only 11 years of age. “When Erika Kirk spoke the words on the man who killed her husband — ‘That man … that young man … I forgive him’ — that moment deeply affected me. I have struggled for over 60 years to forgive the man who killed my Dad. I will say those words now as I type: ‘I forgive the man who killed my father.’ Peace be with you all.” (Tim Allen on X.) Beautiful. Now Tim is free. That’s the power of forgiveness.
Forgiveness not only impacts our souls personally, but it also circulates and spreads to impact the souls of others who may take note: neighbors, coworkers, actors, churchgoers, and politicians. Even the White House press secretary spoke of Erika’s merciful act of forgiveness as “one of the greatest acts of grace this world has ever seen.” True, indeed.
Jesus challenged us, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:43-45) Loving enemies is easy to say, but not so easy to do. Erika Kirk demonstrated to the world how it is done – amidst the most dreadful of circumstances – as she “arrived at a Utah hospital to do the unthinkable: to look directly at my husband’s murdered body. I saw the wound that ended his life.” Facing that requires immense faith, grace, resolve, and deep relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
I personally experienced a similar divine grace from God in 2003 when I lovingly and excruciatingly gazed upon the bodies of my 5 family members who had just drowned in a Kansas flash flood. Only the power of prayer and the grace of God can usher you through moments such as these. Thank God that I had fortified my faith and relationship with the Lord long before they died. I could say then – and can still testify today – that, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55)
As Erika Kirk admonished us all, “Choose prayer, choose courage, choose beauty, choose adventure, choose family. Choose a life of faith. Most importantly, choose Christ.” Amen. To Live a Life of No Regrets, begin by choosing to surrender to Christ. Know God personally. “Make Heaven crowded.”
This is largely why Erika could confidently say that her deceased husband, Charlie, “was also ready to die. There was nothing, nothing he was putting off. …He left this world without regrets.” That should be the – goal for each of our lives – to depart this planet with no regrets. It sounds as if Charlie lived a “no regrets” life that began by Knowing God personally through Jesus Christ, and then extended Christ’s love through his wife and children.
It sounds as though Charlie truly cherished his wife immensely, and Erika cheered him along every step of the way. When asked how she and Charlie kept their “marriage so strong when he was busy traveling…our little secret, it was love notes. Every Saturday, Charlie wrote one for me. And he never missed a Saturday. And in every single one of them, he’d tell me what his highlight was for the week, how grateful he was for me and our babies. And always at the end, he would always end it with asking the most beautiful question. He’d always end it by asking, ‘Please let me know how I can better serve you as a husband.’”
Amen. A husband’s chief duty is to sacrificially serve his family in love. Jesus “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28) Interestingly, I too continue to write love-notes to my wife (of 19+ years) nearly every single morning. Inga now has several shoe boxes full of notes – highlighting the joys of each day, complementing her, thanking her for loving a guy like me with a past like mine, and affirming my love for her.
Erika declared that, “Charlie perfectly understood God’s role for a Christian husband, a man who leads so that they can serve. To all the men watching around the world, accept Charlie’s challenge and embrace true manhood. Be strong and courageous for your families. [Joshua 1:9] Love your wives and lead them. Love your children and protect them. Be the spiritual head of your home, but please be a leader worth following. Your wife is not your servant. Your wife is not your employee. Your wife is not your slave. She is your helper. You are not rivals. You are one flesh working together for the glory of God.” Amen again.
These are all tenets that I strive to live and teach through the work of Mighty in the Land Ministry these past 22 years. As Apostle Paul challenges us, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word… In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:25-29) Men, cherish your bride actively and daily. You will never regret it.
Erika boldly addressed ladies, as well. “Women, I have a challenge for you too. Be virtuous. Our strength is found in God’s design for our role. We are the guardians. We are the encouragers. We are the preservers. Guard your heart, everything you do flows from it. [Proverbs 4:23] And if you’re a mother, please recognize, that is the single most important ministry you have.”
I love the fact that, “The greatest cause in Charlie’s life was trying to revive the American family.” Family is the bedrock of our society and nation. As the family goes, so goes the nation and the world. Let us aim to Live a Life of No Regrets – by first surrendering our lives to Christ, forgiving others repeatedly, and reviving the American family. You will never regret it. May great revival of spirit and family sweep across our great land.